|It's Party Time!
Group swingers get ready
By Brandon Tanner
off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up the barbecue
and stock up on food and drink. Winter's history and it's time for a
serious swing-party! Good plan and it makes you want to get down big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swing-party. However many
are not and they are the target audience for this article. Those of you
who've 'been there, done that' might learn something new.
Loren (my wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but geared to
intimate sessions with just two couples. The focus of this discussion is
on a much bigger event. We've been there, done that, and our experience
can help you plan and enjoy a great swing-party at your house.
folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it off. Good.
Loren's here and she can give us a lot of great information. You should
see the sexy outfit she's wearing.
LOREN: "Just for you, Dear. What did I miss?"
TANNER: "Nothing, we're into planning a great swing-party and
understanding what it takes to make it happen."
LOREN: "Okay, let's look at few small things not-to-do."
TANNER: "Ordering three kegs of beer before the RSVPs come in would
be one of those."
LOREN: "We've been that stupid."
TANNER: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a week's worth of
finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
LOREN: "Regarding the matter of alcohol ... be advised: if you provide
booze, beer or wine you cannot charge for it, it must be free. The cops
can get you for selling alcohol without a license."
TANNER: "There's the key; you charge a reasonable fee per couple to
cover your expenses (not to include alcohol). Guests bring their own
booze. An acceptable fee is about $30.00 per couple, $15.00 for singles.
Loren will get more into that aspect later."
LOREN: "Right, I will, but a word about singles should be covered here.
Think about it ... if you allow single men to attend your party they can
and will out number your other guests. Allowing single females seems hot,
but it usually backfires."
TANNER: "That applies to private, home-parties. The commercial
Swing-Clubs are another story and we're not addressing those here. Why
do single females cause a problem at a private swing-party?"
LOREN: "It all depends on the attitude of the other females who come to
the party with male partners."
TANNER: "Are we talking jealous here?"
LOREN: "Yes, but it's basic really. The couple, especially, if
married, has been together for a while. They have a rhythm, a feel for
each other. Swinging with another couple isn't a problem. Introduce a
slinky, sexy single-female and sparks may fly."
TANNER: "That can kill a swing-party real quick. Okay, single men at
the party, what's your take on that?"
LOREN: "It's a little different animal. Every time we've placed an
ad to have a swing-party and clearly stated NO SINGLE MEN! We've been
overwhelmed with single men wanting to attend the party -- can't they
read?" Loren shakes her head.
TANNER: "That pisses you off, please be specific."
LOREN: "The mail from the dudes who can't understand, NO SINGLE MEN!
Seems to indicate they're above the rule, they're something special!
They offer security service, a fantastic addition to a threesome. They
fail at both offers and if you allow single men to your private
swing-party prepare for trouble."
TANNER: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swing-party in a private
home and have it be successful and pleasant for all involved. There are
guidelines that work and rules to make the party flow smoothly. Let's
sidestep for a moment and cover a couple of, what I would call
professionally organized, private, swing-parties."
LOREN: "You're meaning California and Texas?"
TANNER: "You got it ... lay it out for us."
LOREN: "I'll start with California, but remember your party doesn't
have to be on such a level."
TANNER: "The difference is obvious."
LOREN: "This is in the area of the top-ten swingers-parties. The setting
is a sprawling ranch complex about twenty-five miles east of San Diego,
California. Weekend swing-parties there are well known in adult circles
and you have to be in those circles to be invited. It's couples only and
the fee is $500.00. That charge covers all accommodations, food and drink
for the entire weekend. You have access to a pool, sauna, and complete bar
and catered food service for the weekend. All booze is provided upon
request. That was the downfall of the great swingers weekend. The local
law couldn't get the operators on anything else but selling booze
without a license!"
TANNER: And they shut them down.
LOREN: "Fast -- and the law gained nothing -- fines all around and not
TANNER: Tell us about Texas.
LOREN: "Sorry ... I just can't stand the bullshit that
headline-seeking politicians try to dump on us every day."
TANNER: "Texas, Loren, what can we learn from there?"
LOREN: "We spent three years there and learned a great deal. I mean
TANNER: "It was great!"
LOREN: "A friend of ours has established a rock-solid swinger's club
in his own home. It's high-end, organized and very successful. Get this
-- the charge per couple is $35.00 and they bring their own booze.
There's a special singles-night for men and women, usually in the middle
of the week. These folks pay half price, bring their own booze and mix
together as they will."
TANNER: "Okay, back to reality. What about the novice couple who
would like to get a swinger's party going?"
LOREN: "Usually a couple has done some swinging or has attended a
swing-club. You should have a good idea about swinging before you decide
to open your home to several couples you don't know."
TANNER: "What's a good way to get educated in the art of
LOREN: "Go to an adult club that's well known and observe. If you feel
the urge, get involved. Another way is to get involved with a foursome and
see how it goes."
TANNER: "I think you'd know if it's your thing right away."
LOREN: "Exactly. You've heard the phrase; ninety percent of sex is in
TANNER: "I thought that applied to men."
LOREN: "It does, dear. However, some couples get a hot idea in their
heads because they've seen pictures or videos of group sex and or
swing-parties. They fantasize about it and build it up in their mind.
Sometimes fantasy should be left at just that."
TANNER: "You're scaring the readers."
LOREN: "I think I'm offering a fair warning. Give the idea some
serious thought before you jump in with both feet."
TANNER: "Sounds kinky."
LOREN: "You're impossible. What I'm saying is; look at the whole
picture. Do you really want six-to-ten couples drinking, smoking, eating
and having sex all over your house?"
TANNER: "Rules, love ... you have to have a set of rules everyone
understands before they come to the front door."
"Excellent point and it's really necessary if you want to have a great
TANNER: "Tell us from your experience."
LOREN: "Gladly. Once you've decided on having a swing-party, start
promoting it at least a month in advance and avoid Friday night."
TANNER: "What's wrong with Friday night?"
LOREN: "Nothing, I love it, but most couples have worked all day, it's
already six o'clock, they need some time to wind down. Considering an
8:00 or 9:00 PM party twenty or more miles away can take the spark out of
TANNER: "So Friday night is out?"
LOREN: "Not altogether, but our experience indicates less response for a
Friday night swing-party. In fact, the clubs we've attended have cut
prices and allowed singles on Friday nights just to get more people in."
TANNER: "Two of them have stopped operating on Friday nights."
LOREN: "There it is, apply the facts to your own party plans. Don't
try for a Friday night bash, make it Saturday. And, unless you're really
established as a great swinger's host, don't even consider week-night
parties ... they fail every time."
TANNER: "What about the other rules? We're running out of space
LOREN: "Decide if you'll allow smoking, if not, make that clear. If
cameras are going to be allowed, make sure you say so up front. Many
swingers don't want pictures or video and they will not attend your
party. If you do allow photos or video, respect the wishes of those who
TANNER: "What else? We need to move on."
LOREN: "Don't allow drunkenness, fighting, arguments, or forced
activity of any kind -- NO IS NO! That must be respected. Over book --
right, just like the airlines."
TANNER: "We learned that the hard way."
LOREN: "We did indeed. Post your party message in as many personal ad
places as you can. Be specific on how many couples you want to attend. Ask
for an E-mail so you can send more information. Your response is where you
lay out the rules, the date and time of the event and any theme you might
have in mind. This is where you request an RSVP and a MUST phone call
(give your phone number in an E-mail only) NOT in the ad you place. If
fifteen couples respond and you can handle only ten -- let it go;
you'll only get about five couples to actually call you to get
directions and two of those won't make it. That's how it is, people go
on and on about being swingers, but when you get to the bottom line,
they're full of beans!"
TANNER: "We're being up front here because we've 'been there,
done that'. We don't mean to put a wet blanket over your swing-party,
just understand what you hope to undertake. As Loren suggested, themes
work, we know that first hand."
LOREN: "Holiday themes are obvious, make costumes optional (some people
won't go to the trouble). For a non-holiday bash come up with something
kinky and plan on decorating to reflect the theme."
TANNER: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
LOREN: "I suggest a month of posting ads before the event. Post to as
many personal ad sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS works. We hosted a
fantastic swinger's-party last October with a Halloween theme. We
followed that with a Thanksgiving theme and both were a great
TANNER: "The Halloween party was a major blast. However, the
Thanksgiving theme proved to be an absolute turkey fest."
LOREN: "Funny. There's a lot more to show and tell in regard to
swing-parties. Plan your party with care and attention to details."
TANNER: "Thanks, Loren. I'm sure our readers will be much better
prepared now that we have had this little chat."
Back to Main Page